華生醫生部落格，這篇很特別喔，原文請點這邊。本篇將劇透3-2 The Sign of Three，請沒看戲的先不要看。
The Sign of Three 三簽名
Wow!!!!!!!!! What a day!!!!!! That was the best wedding ever!!!!!! Sherlock was amazing! Love is amazing! Fluffy clouds and little birds are amazing!!! It was all just like so amazing! I'm going to write up all about it here! Because you all love reading my blog because I'm such a good writer!!! Perhaps I'll write about some of the other mundane stuff I do like playing board games or eating sandwiches and drinking tea in front of the Eastenders!
wow!!!!!!!!今天真是太棒了!!!!!!!這是世界上最棒的婚禮!!!!!Sherlock真是太棒了！愛情真是太美好了！天上軟棉棉的雲跟小鳥們真是太棒了!!!一切都太棒了！我要把這一切全都寫在這！因為你們都愛看我的blog，我是個很棒的作家！也許我該寫些平凡點的東西諸如我喜歡玩桌遊、喜歡甂看《東區人》邊吃三明治喝茶！
Sorry. I can't do it any more. I was going to attempt to mimic John's style of writing for an entire blog post but life's too short. And I say that as someone who died over two years ago. Good evening everyone, this is Sherlock Holmes. John can't be with you today as he is on his Sex Holiday. Sorry, honeymoon.
抱歉。我沒辦法繼續寫下去了。我剛試著想裝成John的風格來寫完整篇格文，但是對一個曾被宣告死亡兩年的人來說，這實在太浪費生命了。晚安各位，我是 Sherlock Holmes。John今天不會與你們同在了，因為他在放滾床單假。抱歉，是蜜月中。
Apparently we aren't allowed to call it Sex Holiday. Apparently we really shouldn't tell children that John and his wife have gone on Sex Holiday. They've chosen to go somewhere hot and sunny with beaches and cocktails or something. To be honest, he talks about things and I phase out. She's the same. They're both perfectly acceptable friends in their own way but then they start talking and I wish I really had died. I am, however, quite happy that they have found each other and that they make each other happy. That's nice, isn't it. And it is very nice to have the place to myself without their meaningless chatter distracting me from more important things.
我們不能稱呼這種假期為滾床單假。我們當然不能跟小朋友們說John跟他老婆放了床單假。他們會選擇一個溫暖、有陽光、沙灘，又有雞尾酒什麼的地方去。說實話，他講過去哪但我刪掉了，她也是。他們完全是可以接受的朋友，但只要他們一開口我就很想死。即使如此，他們能在人海中找到讓彼此都這麼快樂的另一半，我還是替他們感到高興。這是件好事，不是嗎。能獨處而不用聽他們無意義的聊天來分散我的注意力也事件好事。
Anyway. I decided that I'd share with you a video of the wedding. It's a video of the photos of the wedding. Sadly there are no photos of the attempted murder. If there are any attempted murders at John's next wedding, I promise to take photos.
總之，我決定把婚禮拍的video跟你們分享。這是婚禮照片剪成的video。很可惜沒有拍到謀殺未遂的嫌犯。如果下次John的婚禮上出現企圖謀殺的嫌犯，我會記得幫他拍照的。
Good evening.
各位晚安。
Sherlock Holmes
Consulting Detective and Best Man
伴郎暨偵探顧問
43 comments 43則回應
Looks like it was a brilliant day! Congratulations and sorry again I couldn't make it!
看起來今天真是棒透啦！恭喜同時很抱歉我今天沒法到場！
Mike Stamford 11 August
STOP POSTING ON MY BLOG! AND THERE WON'T BE ANOTHER WEDDING!
不 准 ＰＯ 東 西 在 我 的 ＢＬＯＧ！還有 我 不 會 再婚！
11 August
Does your wife know you're on the Internet when you're supposed to be enjoying your Sex Holiday with her?
你老婆知道你在你們該好好享受滾床假時還偷上網嗎？
Sherlock Holmes 11 August
LOLZZ!
哈哈哈阿阿！
11 August
Awh!! Lovely!!
哇喔！！可愛！！
11 August
Mary. I've been doing some research and you need to avoid seafood.
Mary，我剛看了點資料，妳要少吃海鮮。
Sherlock Holmes 11 August
Why do you all comment on this? Some of you don't even know John.
為什麼你們都要在這留言？有些人根本不認識John。
Sherlock Holmes 11 August
But haven't you got better things to be doing? You're spending all your time on the Internet.
但是你們沒其他事好做了嗎？你們把時間全浪費在上網了。
Sherlock Holmes 11 August
Sherlock. You're being rude again.
Sherlock，你又不禮貌了。
12 August
Sorry:)
抱歉:)
12 August
I just don't understand why you're all here. Go outside and find something to do.
我只是不能理解你們為什麼一直在上網。去戶外走走，找點事做。
Sherlock Holmes 12 August
HAHAHAAHA!!! MIKE WINS THE INTERNET!!!
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！Mike贏了！！！
12 August
He's asking why you're here.
他在問說為什麼你在也在這個blog。
12 August
Not that Bill Murray.
我不是那個Bill Murray。
12 August
DARLING!!!!!!! The photos look amazing and your wife looks amazing!! Big hugs to you both!!! Sorry again we couldn't be there but Ted's leg was doing that thing again and we just couldn't make it and I wish we had because it looks like such a wonderful beautiful heart-breaking celebration of absolute love!! Big hugs to you both!! Big squishy hugs!!!! Xxxxxxxxxxxx
親愛的!!!!照片看起來超棒的，你老婆好正!!用力抱你們兩個一下!!!再次抱歉Ted的腳又犯病了，所以我們不能去，真希望我們能到場，看起來是夢幻美好得令人心碎，滿滿愛意的婚禮呀!!用力抱!!狠狠抱你們兩個!!!Xxxxxxxxx
12 August
Did nobody notice the attempted murder I mentioned? What's wrong with you all?
都沒人注意到我提到謀殺未遂嗎？你們到底有什麼問題？
Sherlock Holmes 13 August
You use the word 'mate' a lot, Mike. It's a sign that you're overcompensating for your very middle-aged, middle-class existence. You want the world to see you as young and cool.
你常用「大哥、老兄」這類的字眼，Mike。這是你企圖隱藏自己已到中年、成就平平的徵象。你希望大家認為你又酷又年輕。
Sherlock Holmes 13 August
LOL!! theimprobableone wants Sherlock to do him.
哈哈！theimprobablesone 要 Sherlock 試試他
Jacob Sowersby 13 August
You are all utterly ridiculous. And still none of you have asked about the attempted murder. John has catalogued two cases on this blog that we have since discovered tied into what happened today. The Bloody Guardsmanfeatured a brilliant attempted murder. In the case of The Mayfly Man, I deduced the how but not the why. During the wedding I discovered the answer to both. Bainbridge had been stabbed by a tiny blade through his belt. The belt bound the flesh together when it was tied tight but once he removed it he started to die. It was a delayed action stabbing. It transpires that he was merely a test subject for the attempted murder at the wedding. The Mayfly Man was the man who attempted to kill Bainbridge. He was sleeping with women to get close to another potential victim. Through them he discovered that the victim would be at John and Mary's wedding.
你們真的莫名奇妙。而且還是沒有人問我謀殺未遂是怎麼回事。John有把兩個案子寫在blog上，而我們今天發現這兩案的關聯是什麼。在染血的侍衛中巧妙的謀殺手法，和我推理出怎麼做卻不知道為什麼的鬼魂男友。在婚禮中，我發現了這兩個未解之謎的答案。Bainbridge 配著皮帶時被細長的兇器穿過皮帶刺殺，皮帶將皮肉緊緊釦住他就沒事，一旦脫下皮帶，他就開始邁向死亡了。這是延遲刺殺。這個案子只是在婚禮上發生的謀殺未遂案的測試而已。而鬼魂男友就是企圖殺掉 Bainbridge 的人。他跟女人廝混只是為了要接近他想殺的對象，並由此知道他想殺的人會出席 John 和 Mary 的婚禮。
Sherlock Holmes 13 August
Does anyone want to ask me how I worked it all out? And who the potential victim was?
沒有人要問我怎麼知道的嗎？還有那個可能被殺的人是哪位？
Sherlock Holmes 13 August
John would ask me if he was here. He always asks me what's going on and how i worked it out.
如果John在的話他一定會問的。他總是在問怎麼了跟我怎麼知道。
Sherlock Holmes 13 August
Sweetheart, do you want me to come up and play Cluedo wuith you?
甜心，要不要我上去跟你玩Cluedo？
Mrs Hudson 13 August
＊
心得：福爾摩斯終於寫了華生的blog！一如原著〈蒼白的士兵〉及〈獅鬃毛〉兩篇一樣，由福爾摩斯來寫總是特別奇妙（建議沒看過原作的人去看一下，我對〈蒼白的士兵〉還滿有愛的，每次看都覺得1.自己蠢死了，2.華生不知做何感想XD）
另外這篇也看得出其實 Sherlock 對於 John 終於有了 Mary 是替他高興同時又很鬧彆扭的啊，真的是彆扭得很厲害，哈哈XDDD。終於把3-2的部份更完了真是開心，可以寫3-3的心得了，3-3真的超好看啊～
留言列表
就是「吃」！ (4)
this post is somewhat of a curates egg as while the prose is better i do not come here to read about weddings
這篇文大概是雞肋吧聊勝於無不過我不是來這看婚禮怎樣的
theimprobableone 11 August